Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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