At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
