Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
