I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
