I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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