doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
