You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
