Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
