Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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