Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
