I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
