I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
