I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
