East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
