I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
