i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
