The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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