There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
