We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
