dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
