Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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