I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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