Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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