Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
