We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
