I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
