I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
