Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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