Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
