yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
