Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
