I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
