Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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