How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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