Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
