The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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