dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
