You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
