Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
