Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
