I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I cut my penus on the lid.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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