But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
