ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
