some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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