He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So apparently I’m into choking now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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