OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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