They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
