Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
