he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
