i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
