He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
